defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize