Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference

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  (248): apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference http://tfl.nu/k6zm
  Replies (33) Good night (6569) Bad night (1201) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises

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  (905): So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises http://tfl.nu/ed2j
  Replies (15) Good night (1496) Bad night (660) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game

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  (937): she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game http://tfl.nu/2cbt
  Replies (20) Good night (639) Bad night (8274) Order T-Shirt
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.

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  (806): Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks. http://tfl.nu/pxy6
  Replies (24) Good night (1549) Bad night (4432) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin

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  (802): you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin http://tfl.nu/5vsk
  Replies (15) Good night (4838) Bad night (884)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Honestly, what else do I have going for me?

  (216): View more from Ohio

  You make a valid point.

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  (216): Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets. (440): Honestly, what else do I have going for me? (216): You make a valid point. http://tfl.nu/ba8r
  Replies (22) Good night (1547) Bad night (3654)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes

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  (514): you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes http://tfl.nu/cth1
  Replies (21) Good night (7570) Bad night (1122) Order T-Shirt
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  (239): View more from Florida

  I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk

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  (239): I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk http://tfl.nu/44fq
  Replies (9) Good night (1165) Bad night (3146) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"

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  (954): I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!" http://tfl.nu/pxgz
  Replies (9) Good night (2635) Bad night (1106) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.

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  (330): the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom. http://tfl.nu/2arl
  Replies (12) Good night (4861) Bad night (894) Order T-Shirt
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  (806): View more from Texas

  You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....

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  (806): You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping.... http://tfl.nu/mb43
  Replies (6) Good night (3212) Bad night (1235) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  $150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.

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  (813): $150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins. http://tfl.nu/s65x
  Replies (32) Good night (2772) Bad night (888) Order T-Shirt
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.

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  (514): So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe. http://tfl.nu/whvh
  Replies (9) Good night (1802) Bad night (526) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.

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  (612): There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/g344
  Replies (12) Good night (688) Bad night (878) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break

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  (248): Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break http://tfl.nu/smjb
  Replies (1) Good night (535) Bad night (183) Order T-Shirt

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