We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
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Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
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it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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