I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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