Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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