when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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