i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
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You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
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I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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