is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize