Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i love accidental penises.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize