I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
So much Jack, so little girl.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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