I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize