been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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