is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I FOUND THE LEGS
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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