i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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