He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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