Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
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Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
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HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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