allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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