I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
ok first of all what the fuck
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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