Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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