fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
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Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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