Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You're like the curious george of whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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