I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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