I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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