New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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