Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize