It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
We need to get me chipped asap
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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