Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize