just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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