Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
my sisters under your porch take her home
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize