i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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