it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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