I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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