My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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