she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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