Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Randomize