Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
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