hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
His hands were made for my vagina.
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Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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