how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
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I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
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Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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