The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize