dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
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I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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