i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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