seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
she told me i tasted like america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize