This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
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Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
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The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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