She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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