I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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