Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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