he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize