They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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