forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize