remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
"it" just moved
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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